Visions Of Daphne

Frasier

Good show today, Roz.

Roz

Yeah.

Frasier

[notices catalogues] Say, why all the catalogues?

Roz

I need to buy a present.

Frasier

[happily reading books] Tiffany, Cartier, Neiman Marcus...

Roz

So does anything look good to you here?

Frasier

Well, let's see. Who could we be shopping for? Hmm, perhaps a honey-voiced radio therapist who's birthday's just around the corner?

Roz

No, this present is not for you - it's for your brother.

Frasier

Oh all right, Roz, don't be coy. I think it's very smart you fishing for hints like this - you wanted to avoid a misstep like you made last year.

Roz

What misstep? You said you loved Pagliacci.

Frasier

Yes, I said the opera, not the porcelain crying crown figurine!

Roz

Look, Niles pulled some strings and got Alice on a list for a really good preschool, so I thought I'd just get him a little thank you gift, which was why I was asking for your stupid opinion in the first place. Forget it.

Frasier

All right, fine.

Roz

I'll figure it out for myself.

Frasier

Have it your own way, that's fine. But I tell you what, don't get him a porcelain Pagliacci. He already has one!

Frasier

Hi, Dad.

Martin

Hey, Fras. You'll never guess who I just saw. I went over for a cup of coffee with Hank. You remember Hank? He's the security guard who works at Weston's jewelry store. Anyway, we were in his booth - just shooting the breeze, looking at the surveillance monitors, when who do I see buying an engagement ring, but Donny - as in "Daphne & Donny."

Frasier

[shocked] Donny? Are you sure?

Martin

Yeah. Engagement rings is Tina's counter. We use the zoom lens on her.

Frasier

Dad, I'm shocked!

Martin

Oh no, it's just innocent fun. She only dresses that way 'cause she knows we're looking at her!

Frasier

About Daphne and Donny. I didn't realize they were this serious.

Martin

Well, they spend all their time together.

Frasier

This is going to crush Niles.

Martin

Yeah, I know.

Frasier

Do you think we should tell him?

Martin

No, it's none of our business! We do not tell Niles and we definitely do not tell Daphne!

Daphne

Tell Daphne what?

Martin

Nothing.

Daphne

It's bad news, isn't it?

Martin

No, it's not bad news.

Daphne

Is it about my mum, did they find something during her physical - they did, didn't they? I'll have to call her.

Frasier

No Daphne, there is absolutely no news.

Martin

And even if there were, it's not up to us to tell you about it.

Daphne

Who should tell me then? The head surgeon, our family minister?

Martin

No!

Daphne

The mortician? [worried] I've got to pack, I hope I'm not too late!

Martin

[quickly] I just saw Donny buying you an engagement ring.

Frasier

That is the news!

Daphne

[confused] Really? I don't believe it, I'm going to get married! [excited] I'm so excited! I'm going to be a "Mrs." Mrs. Donny Douglas! Oh, [writing it out in the air] Mrs. Donald Ronald Douglas! Oh my God!

Frasier

I guess we're going to have to prepare Niles now, he's on his way over here.

Martin

Yeah, well don't tell him here. I don't want him going to pieces in front of Daphne.

Frasier

I guess I could tell him at the restaurant.

Martin

Don't take him to one of those fancy wine bistros that you guys love. News like this calls for hard liquor, big glasses!

Frasier

Wherever it is, I just think it's best that Niles hears it from me and not from Daphne.

Niles

Hear what from Daphne?

Frasier

I'll tell you at the restaurant.

Niles

[excited] No, I don't want to wait till we get to the bistro.

Frasier

You're just going to have to wait.

Martin

And you're not going to any bistro!

Niles

[confused] Well fine, then if you won't tell me, I'll just ask Daphne myself.

Frasier

[stopping him] Niles, wait. The truth is: Daphne's...

Martin

[completing the sentence] ...mother is dying.

Niles

Oh, dear God.

Frasier

Yes. Tragic, isn't it? You know, she's going to need all the support that we can give her.

Daphne

Evening, Dr. Crane.

Frasier

Well, come on, Niles, we don't want to lose our table.

Daphne

[to Niles] Have you heard the news?

Niles

[hugs her] I just did, what can I say?

Daphne

Oh, I've thought about this day, ever since I was a little girl.

Niles

I'm sure you have.

Daphne

It's even better than I thought it would be!

Daphne

I can already picture the big day: beautiful flowers everywhere, a sea of smiling faces, and I suppose everyone will want to have their picture taken with the lady of the hour.

Frasier

[worried] You know, maybe Daphne could use a little quiet time.

Daphne

Oh, who could be quiet?! I'm so happy. [hugs Frasier] Donny's going to ask me to marry him!

Niles

[aside to Martin] What?

Daphne

Now, come the big day you'll all sit right up front with my family. Because that's what you are to me: family. [hugs Martin]

Martin

Well, that's what you are to us too, Daph.

Niles

[Daphne has now started hugging him again, he says, acting] I am so thrilled for you.

Daphne

Oh thank you, thank you all!

Martin

I'm sorry, son.

Frasier

Do you want to talk?

Niles

Er, no. Frasier, if you wouldn't mind I'm gonna cancel dinner. I need to be alone.

Frasier

Of course, Niles, but if you need me - call.

Martin

Oh, poor kid!

Frasier

Oh, he'll be all right, Dad. You know, Niles is a lot stronger than we give him credit for.

Frasier

[into phone] Hello? Hold the elevator, I'll be right there.

Martin

[into phone] Hang in there son, he's on his way.

Niles

Yes?

Woodson

This came while you were in session. It's from a Roz Doyle, she wanted to thank you for a favor that you did. [hands the bag over]

Niles

Ah.

Woodson

I'll be off now.

Niles

All right. Goodnight, Mrs. Woodson.

Niles

Come in, Mrs. Woodson.

Daphne

I'm afraid it's me, Dr. Crane.

Niles

[surprised] Daphne, what are you doing here?

Daphne

I know I should have called first but I need to talk to you. It's sort of a private matter and I hoped we could talk here.

Niles

Well, it's not really appropriate for me to act as your therapist, but if it's just advice from a friend you need I'd be happy to lend an ear. What's on your mind?

Daphne

Well, I don't think I can marry Donny. I think there's somebody else I'm meant to be with.

Niles

[to Daphne] Who is it?

Woodson

[entering, thinking he was talking to her] It's Mrs...

Niles

[getting mad] Oh for God's sake, go home! [she does, then to Daphne] Sorry for that interruption. Anyway, this man you're meant to be with - who is he?

Daphne

I'm afraid I can't say.

Niles

Yes you can, we're the only ones here.

Daphne

Are you sure you won't laugh at me?

Niles

How could you possibly think I would laugh at you?

Daphne

Well, most people would if I told them I'd seen the love of my life in a psychic vision.

Niles

Well, most people are... [realizing] What?

Daphne

You know how I have these psychic flashes from time to time? Well, I had one last night.

Niles

Oh you had a vision about... the love of your life. Okay, well tell me about it. [they sit] And Daphne, omit nothing!

Daphne

All right, I was straightening up the living room when I had a sudden flash of a wedding ceremony for Donny and me. Oh, it was lovely; the church was packed to the rafters. My mum was there in a peach silk looking very smart, my brothers in their suits....

Niles

You know, I may have led you in the wrong direction with the "omit" business, feel free to skip ahead.

Daphne

My father had just walked me up to the altar and I was standing there facing Donny. He looked quite natty, black tuxedo, tails, very slimming...

Niles

We're skipping.

Daphne

Well, then the vicar began the ceremony. He asked if anyone had a reason why we shouldn't wed and that's when this... well, this person stood up and said that he did. He said that he was the true love of my life, though he'd never had the courage to say so. Ah, I feel so awkward telling you all this.

Niles

Don't. [excited] I think I know who this person is.

Daphne

You do?

Niles

Yes.

Daphne

Well, I don't see how you could. I couldn't tell myself.

Daphne

He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie.

Niles

I don't have a... [realizes] clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding.

Daphne

Heavens, I can't believe I'm talking about my visions to a psychiatrist. Your brother would think I was daft.

Niles

Well, [covering] Frasier's never really shared my mystical spiritual bent.

Daphne

This does mean I'm going to have to turn down Donny's proposal. You don't think that would be crazy?

Niles

Not at all.

Daphne

Then you really believe in psychic visions too?

Niles

I do.

Daphne

Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane. That means a lot to me. Of course if I can't marry Donny, I can't very well go on dating him. That would just be leading him on.

Niles

That's very true.

Daphne

I don't know how I'm going to break it off with him.

Niles

If you want to write a letter... I have stationary and a fax machine.

Daphne

No. I have to tell him to his face. I do hate to let him go, though.

Niles

I know it's hard, but it's the only ethical thing to do.

Daphne

[emotionally] You're right. [hugs him] Now I see why people come to you. You always point them in the right direction.

Niles

Well, I'd be a poor excuse for a psychiatrist if I didn't.

Frasier

What's Eddie doing?

Martin

Every time this cooking show comes on, he rolls over and watches it upside down. He likes all the pouring they do. He thinks it's funny the way the food goes up instead of down.

Daphne

[enters from front door] Evening.

Martin

Hey, Daph. Donny called, he said he'd be here by eight. Do you think he'll pop the question tonight?

Daphne

I hope not.

Martin

What's the matter?

Daphne

I've decided to break up with him tonight.

Martin

What?! You wanted to marry him yesterday.

Daphne

Well, you know how I have these visions from time to time, and don't tell Dr. Crane, well...

Frasier

[enters from kitchen] Don't tell me what?

Daphne

Nothing.

Frasier

It's my car again, isn't it!

Daphne

It's not your bloody car!

Martin

She's breaking up with Donny because of some vision.

Daphne

I asked you not to mention that!

Frasier

[concerned] What vision?

Daphne

I know you'll make fun of me. But I had a vision that I'm meant to be with another man.

Martin

Who?

Daphne

I couldn't see his face. I don't know anything about him. He was just wearing a red bow tie.

Frasier

Are you seriously going to dump Donny because of some psychic vision, don't you think that's a little unwise?

Daphne

Well, your brother didn't think so.

Frasier

Niles knows about this?

Daphne

Yes, he helped me to see that ending things with Donny was my only choice. Unlike you, he believes in my visions; he knows I have a gift.

Frasier

Yes, he's been trying to unwrap it for six years!

Frasier

That'll be Donny.

Martin

What do you think about all this vision stuff?

Frasier

Obviously there's some psychological reason that she's having second thoughts. It's got nothing to do with an apparition in a red bow tie.

Frasier

[appalled] Niles, you jackass, will you take that thing off!

Niles

[enters] I admit it's a bit of a departure for me, but I'm feeling a bit kitschy today.

Frasier

Yes, I know. Daphne told us how you encouraged her to follow her vision and dump Donny. I am astonished at your lack of integrity! Now will you take that damn thing off! What the hell did you hope to accomplish with that anyway?

Niles

I was simply trying to nudge Daphne into the realization that I am the man in her vision.

Martin

Niles!

Niles

[reluctant] All right. [he takes it off] But why else would she come to me?

Frasier

Surely, you of all people realizes that there is some psychological basis for these visions of hers. It represents a fear of some kind. A fear of intimacy, a fear of commitment, a fear of the Windsor Knot, who knows?

Daphne

[enters] Was that Donny at the door?

Frasier

Oh no, just Niles, Daphne. You know, we were just discussing these visions of yours.

Daphne

Look, I'm in no mood to be mocked.

Frasier

I'm not mocking you, Daphne, and I'm not trying to influence you in anyway, either. It's just that I was wondering... um, have these psychic warnings ever come to you before - say, at a critical juncture in a relationship?

Daphne

No! [remembers] Well, actually yes. Once when my first boyfriend proposed I had a vision telling me that there was somebody better waiting - which there was: Clive

Frasier

But you dumped Clive.

Daphne

Look, er, I don't have time for this right now.

Frasier

[sarcastic] Oh yes, no fear of commitment there.

Niles

It's just as possible that she knew those men were wrong for her. Isn't that right, Dad?

Martin

[searching the room] Leave me out of this. I'm just looking for my TV Guide.

Niles

Well, I could use a little support here.

Martin

[straightens up] Well, maybe that's why I said to leave me out of it. I'm sorry, Niles. I want you to be happy but I'm with your brother on this.

Frasier

Niles, the fact is you don't know what causes these visions, and yet you still advised her to walk away from a wonderful relationship. It doesn't make you much of a psychiatrist.

Niles

That's your opinion.

Frasier

Yes well, here's a second opinion: it doesn't make you much of a friend.

Martin

Are you sure you didn't throw it away in the recycling?

Frasier

Are you actually looking for the TV Guide?!

Martin

Well I have to plan my weekend!

Frasier

[sarcastic] You really do have the world on a string, don't you, Dad?

Niles

Look Daphne, I've been thinking about our talk this afternoon. I'm not sure I gave you the best advice I could have. Perhaps what you call a vision is really a fear - a fear of commitment, say. That would explain why these visions come to you when your relationships turn serious. Mind you, I can't tell you that Donny is the right person for you, but I wouldn't want you to end things with him for the wrong reasons. Do you understand?

Daphne

[hiding her tears] Yeah, you're just like your brother after all. This afternoon you were just humoring me, weren't you?

Niles

No, Daphne.

Daphne

[walking into the room as Niles follows, she shouts] Look at the idiot from Manchester, she thinks she has visions!

Niles

No, no, all I'm saying is that I think there are psychological issues here that you just don't entirely appreciate.

Daphne

Well, how could I? I'm just some nut who believes in fate. Well, I've always followed my visions and [swelling up in the eyes] your pity's not going to change that.

Daphne

That'll be Donny. Could one of you get the door?

Daphne

[angry] Well, you've seen me do it enough times. You just turn the handle and pull!

Donny

Hey, Frasier. Is Daphne ready?

Frasier

She'll be out in a minute.

Donny

Oh, good, good. Oh, what's that you're drinking there?

Frasier

Sherry.

Donny

Oh. Yeah, I'll have one.

Martin

So, how's business?

Donny

Well, actually I've cut down on my caseload. I want to spend more time with Daphne. Don't tell her this but I've booked us on an Alaskan vacation next month. I guess it's one of the few places left where you can feel completely alone.

Martin

[uncomfortable] Ah, you like that feeling, huh?

Daphne

Donny.

Donny

Hi, honey. [kisses her]

Daphne

So are we on our way then?

Donny

Well actually, I've got something on my mind that I'd kinda like to talk about first...

Donny

No, no, I'd like you to stay here for this. If it wasn't for you then I never would have met Daphne...

Frasier

Donny, I think it would be best...

Donny

It's okay. Sit!

Martin

Maybe I'll have a little bit of this sherry. [He gulps down a glass at once]

Donny

You know, I thought that being a divorce attorney would have just soured me on relationships... and then I met you. And I found myself telling my clients to reconcile, because I think that if they could find even just a tiny little bit of the happiness that I've found with you they could make it. I've been thinking about that time we went to the little bed- and-breakfast in the country and we sat in that porch swing all night. [laughs] When I looked at the sky, you told me your dad and you used to sit on your step and do the same thing when you were a kid. He said that the only man good enough for you would "scoop the stars out of the sky with his hat and lay them at your feet." Well... [taking ring out] I've only caught this one so far. But if you'll accept it, I'll spend my life chasing down the rest of them for you.

Donny

I know it's very soon, so just think about it.

Daphne

[slowly] I don't have to think about it... Yes!

Donny

Boys, give me a break: you look more surprised than I do.

Frasier

Oh, we're just so happy for you.

Niles

Oh, that's wonderful. [getting up] Excuse me, I need to...

Frasier

Yes, champagne, let me help you.

Frasier

Oh Niles, I'm so sorry...

Martin

Frasier, why don't you just take this champagne in there and stay out there for a second?

Martin

I'd do anything to fix this for you.

Niles

I know. [half smiling] It's my own fault. I had chance after chance to tell her how I feel, but I always kept my mouth shut. 'Til tonight, when I probably should have.

Martin

Well, you can't regret what you said. It was the right thing to do, and that's something I can always count on from you.

Niles

Thanks, Dad.

Martin

Well, I'm going to get me some of that champagne. [exits]

Niles

Me, too.

Daphne

[stops Niles] Just a second, Dr. Crane. I'm sorry I got cross with you. Once I thought about what you said it really made sense, and then when Donny did ask me it was fear that I felt — just like you told me. I figured the best way to overcome it was to just jump in with both feet. Thank you for your help.

Niles

I wish you the very best, Daphne.

Donny

Hey, don't squeeze so hard! That's a precious commodity right there: my number one client!

Daphne

Still looking for that TV guide?

Martin

Yeah, it's the damnedest thing. [looks around] What are you still doing up? Where's Donny?

Daphne

[begins searching with him] He's on the phone with my folks. He really is wonderful, Mr. Crane.

Martin

I've very happy for you, Daph.

Daphne

Oh my God. [straightens up] I just had that vision again. Only this time... oh, that's a bit scary. My mystery man is standing with some sort of dragon.

Martin

[surprised] A dragon?

Daphne

Yes, that makes no sense. It must be just what Dr. Crane said, these visions are about my fears.

Martin

[thinking she's nuts] God, yes.

Daphne

Imagine spending the rest of my life looking for some poor bloke with a dragon. [laughs]

Martin

[straightening up] Wow, that's weird.

Daphne

What?

Martin

I just had a vision myself.

Daphne

What is it?

Martin

It's a mystery woman, she's standing in the kitchen - [excited] she's making me a Monte Cristo sandwich.

Daphne

[begins to leave] Oh, brother!

Martin

Oh no, it's just a grilled cheese!

Daphne

Make it yourself, you lazy old sod!

Niles

[in disgust] Oh, Roz!